I got to the community centre where the table top sale was taking place, the stall holders where already arriving and luckily the lady I was running it with as already there. Little man was given a cake, and the organising of the 21 stalls began. Finally we got everyone onto their stalls, checked everyone was ok and the buyers began to arrive. We had done a lot of advertising of the event on facebook and I was very touched that friends came from all over town to browse the goodies for sale. Little man went into preschool and I resumed my role of organiser, making sure that everyone was happy and thanking people for coming along to sell and support. I was very lucky that my partner was there that day, it was good to know that if I couldnt cope with it all I could go to him, that he was holding my hand through it all. A few people asked me how I was doing following my operation and I dont recall what I said to them - but I think I pretty much glossed it over with most people... Like I said I didnt want to be 'that girl with cancer' so I was careful about who the C word was mentioned too, in fact I think I only told two people that day.
Looking back on that day I think it was perfect timing for me, it meant I never gave myself the chance to wallow in my diagnosis. I HAD to face the world, I put on a brave face and simply got on with it. It made me realise that I could get through what was happening to me. My motto became Keep Calm and Carry On. A motto that became an anchor for me through the months following my diagnosis. A motto that became my facebook status for a very long time during that initial stage. As I had decided that I didnt want anyone to know that I had cancer I rarely updated facebook. There was a few reasons why I didnt want people to know, not bcos I was ashamed of it, but simply bcos I didnt want to cause any worry, any pain for anyone else unnecesarily. I also couldnt stand the tilty head brigade, I didnt want sympathy. I didnt want the 'oh how are you doing' tilty head comments. I wasnt keen on the idea of being defined by the cancer. I decided that people would only ever find out about my cancer once id beaten it. Success stories are always received better and after all I WAS going to be a success story.
So the Table Top Sale was a massive success for me. It was what paved the way for my positive outlook on my cancer. Coming home from the event on a high was great, I was exhausted but now it was time to find out what was actually going on with the details of my diagnosis. Time to chase down the information the hospital had failed to arm me with... time to start to fight back against these naughty cells.